Tabaa: My Quest for a Better Sex Life

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I wake up drenched in water. My clothes were soaked and I felt cold. I was lying on the floor in my bedroom and when I managed to open my eyes, they were hazy. I tried to lift my head but it felt heavy accompanied by an excruciating pain. I felt dizzy and nauseated and before I knew what was happening, I started vomiting emptying everything I had eaten for the day until only bile was left.

My eyes cleared and I finally took a good look around my surroundings when I heard the distressed voice of my Teenage daughter sobbing and calling out to me "Mom are you okay."

I nodded and looked up at her face drenched in tears. Her eyes were swollen and I could tell that she was crying for hours.

My name is Jai Saidy. I live in Bakau, a coastal town in the Gambia. I am a middle-aged woman in my late 30s. I am blessed with four Kids, three boys, and a girl. My boys are in their early 20s and my girl is 15 years old. 

I was the most sought-after babe in town during my prime and that's how I met my husband who is also an adventurous, bright, intelligent, enterprising, and handsome young man. He was every girl's crush including me. 

We got married in our early 20s while my husband was still going to the University of the Gambia. 

I am a business-oriented woman so I have a couple of diplomas in Business Administration and Management from the Management Development Institute (MDI) and a budding Clothing Business. 

As a Mandinka Girl from Bakau, of course, I went through Female Genital Mutilation, type one. My clitoris was removed. I suffer from acute dryness of the vagina. During sexual intercourse with my Husband who loves to be adventurous in Bed, experimenting with all the different styles, he came across either while watching a movie or an imaginary one. We do it all and I don't mind, as much as it makes him happy and faithful to me. 

Every day after a marathon of sex with my Husband and enduring all the different painful and painless sex styles and positions, I suffer from severe bruises and I bleed too. I will boil water and pour it in the pan laced it with salt, cool it with cold water a bit and soak myself in it to soothe the pain around and in my vagina.

This vaigna steaming routine is part of my sex life. It eases the pain and helps me meditate. While soaked in this salty water, I will imagine myself experiencing painless sex someday, one that will not only put me at the giving end but also the receiving end. I wondered why my story was different from my friends who drool over the topic of sex when we gather at our usual social gatherings. 

I could come up with excuses to avoid having sex with my husband but the thought of him cheating on me with a complete woman or even him marrying another woman is more painful than what I am going through so I decided to look for a solution amongst my fellow women. At least a lubricant that can give me a smooth sail.

This was how I was introduced to "Tabaa" tobacco powder by my best Friend Mariama. We were both mutilated together in childhood and it turns out that she is going through worse than I am and her only joy and solace according to her lies in the "Tabaa" tobacco powder. She gave me some from her storage bottle of 1.5 liter and promised to call me when the supplier, also a woman comes so that I can give her the money to buy it for me. She told me to insert it in my Vagina a few minutes before sex and I wouldn't feel the pain and I will enjoy sexual intercourse like never before. 

She is my best friend, the one whom I always run to for help so I trust her words and I am very excited about it. 

It was my first time using it that night and I inserted a reasonable amount inside of me and after a few minutes, everything went black.

When I saw my daughter's crying face, that's when I recall inserting the "Tabaa" Tobacco powder. 

My Husband was standing by my bedroom door, holding what was left of the "Tabaa" in his hand and observing and inhaling the scent. 

The heartless man said to me "I don't care about what you do with your body but if you become addicted to "Tabaa" I will divorce you and marry another woman because I will not live with a druggie under the same roof."

He looked at me with disgust written all over his face one last time and left me to my misery. 

My daughter looks at me with a questionable look. 

I struggled to pull myself up and, with the support of my daughter, I stepped into the bathroom to clean up.

After going through a cold bath, I regained my senses and gathered what was left of my strength. I put on a set of clean clothes while my daughter cleaned the water on the floor. 

I lay on my back on the bed, staring at the ceiling recalling all the pains I endured just to please my husband and give him pleasure but it looks like the man is blind to my pain and sacrifice. I almost kill myself inserting a reasonable amount of "Tabaa" Tobacco Powder for the first time, to please a man who does not share my pain. A man who is only after his desire, a selfish man. 

What breaks my heart more, is seeing the disappointment on my teenage daughter's face and the shock she must have gone through just to revive me by pouring water on me. 

I have given this man, four beautiful, bright, and intelligent children. Why should I deteriorate my health further just to give him pleasure? Then and there, I decided to be the learned woman that I am and visit the hospital to seek solutions to my issues but most importantly to love myself and focus on what makes me happy. I want to be a role model to my daughter and not a disappointment or a "Tabaa" Tobacco addict. 

This was my "Tabaa" Tobacco Powder experience and I want every woman out there to learn from what happened to me and desist from using unknown substances as lubricants for sex enhancement. It may damage our womb, cause long-term Reproductive Health Complications, or even death.

Note: Genital tobacco powder, locally known as "tabaa," is a mixture of powdered tobacco and other substances that women use vaginally for sexual enhancement.