Condom or Withdrawal: Which do you prefer?

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Ous K, let's say two roads lead to Europe, one is named, "Condom" and the other named "Withdrawal", which road do you prefer to take? The question hit me like lightning amidst a thunderstorm. My face went pale, my body stiffened and my cheeks were red. It is not like these words are new to me but being suddenly asked such a question amid more than ten young guys seated on three benches brewing "attaya" green tea while listening to reggae music, was unexpected. I was not surprised because the guys love to tease me due to my quiet calm nature.

My name is Ousman Keita, I was born and raised in SerreKunda London Corner, in the Gambia. My neighborhood is lively with a high population of young people. Most of the time we whined and dined together to brew "Attaya" green tea, while those who smoke, buy one or two sticks of Cigarette from "boy pullo" Amadou Jallow's shop not far from "campeh bi" the place we gather in front of the compound of one our "koto" senior friend.

When we gather at our "campeh Bi" site, we forget about our daily hustle and talk about anything and everything including the newest girl in town and if any of the Playboy has a new catch to brag about. At that gathering, the young learn from the old and get inspired both negatively and positively including vibing to Bob Marley, Lucky Dube, Coco Tea, Nasio, Morgan Heritage, etc songs.

Our mothers and sisters also said our "Campeh Bi" site is where we decide the fate of their daughters and siblings. Well, that's an accusation they have no evidence to prove.

On this particular day, it was a Friday night and the weather was calm, and cold with a little bit of a fresh breeze blowing on my face. Since my house is not far from the."Campeh Site" I can hear faint noises from conversations emanating from there. When I got to the site, I finally got a whim of the situation. It was time for everyone present to contribute money to buy green Tea, sugar, and the small ingredientents to brew our "Ristic attaya" green tea. The laziest and stingy ones will come up with different excuses to dodge the contribution and they are usually the first to be served in order of seniority.

When the dust settles, that's when one of our "Kotos" seniors bombard me with the unexpected question. Condom or withdrawal which do you prefer? 

I took a deep breath in and out, and look around for a place to sit, and then looked back at him. He was dead serious and like me, everyone was taken aback by the question, the gathering was hit by a dead silence. 

The parrot of the group, Mam Gorr alias Mam breaks the silence with laughter that echoes through the neighbourhood covering his eyes. Why are you asking him that? Our dear Ous K is a virgin and he was not supposed to know these things. Right bro, he asked looking at me with a mocking smirk on his face.

At that moment, I could not take their teasing and painful jokes anymore. Just because I like to run my things in private does not give them the right to assume things. Well, I said, looking back at him, your girlfriend dumped you a week ago because of me.  According to her, I am a better footballer than you on the pitch. Turning to our Senior, I said, how can you ask a man who is about to enter heaven to take a step back to hell? Of course, I prefer Condoms.

Why? Because withdrawal is an outdated method that should be used by you, our "kotos" with the consent of your wives. We are young and energetic so why go through all that stress of having to pull your penis out and jerk on the floor when you can use a Condom and not go through the stress and the pain of having to pull out during sexual intercourse. Do you know what it feels like when a man reaches climax and he is about to cum? He can even decide to sell his mother right there and give the proceed to the woman at the receiving end of that cum. Again, I will choose Condoms as a bachelor because they will protect me and my partner from STIs including HIV, and also prevent me from impregnating somebody's daughter knowing fully well that we are not ready to commit to each other. 

My speech was followed by an awkward silence with a glare from Mam Gorr who was still digesting the fact that I slept with his woman. 

My Senior got up and gave me a standing ovation. He said you are right, that is the beautiful double agent role of a Condom, preventing unwanted pregnancy and sexual-related diseases. 

The real virgin and the most religious of us all, Babou, joined in the conversation. 

Guys, if you ask me, I will say, that if you are not married, your first option should be total abstinence from sex and sexual intercourse. If you don't want to be dragged by the neighborhood for impregnating somebody's daughter, total abstinence is the road you should travel. 

Mam Gorr, interjected, well, I don't have to worry about that because my girl is on the pills and I am not a fan of Condoms or withdrawal so both roads are not for me.

Lamino, one of our "kotos" seniors told us that due to the inflation of prices, his business is not doing as well as it used to. So he and his wife decided to take a break from childbirth and focus on their three children. My wife wanted to see one of the marabouts to make a charm for her to wear on her waist because she is not a fan of modern contraceptives including Condoms. She will also frown at withdrawal. But her friend introduced her to implants and after visiting the hospital to learn more about the options available, she decided to go with the monthly injection and we are doing fine. 

As the conversation went on, the majority of the guys enjoyed buying condoms and having them on them in case of emergencies but none opted for the withdrawal method. 

Even though talking about sex is a taboo in our society including at home, some of us are sexually active and we are doing it without the knowledge of our parents. 

Condom or no Condom, we will still engage in sexual activities so it is better to have access to Family Planning commodities whenever we need it and wherever we want it. It will even be nice to have condoms sold in our regular shops including more trained community-based distributors of FP Commodities to the doorstep of the population for availability accessibility and affordability sake.

It is a relief to know that there are varieties of choices to choose from. 

Note: Access to safe and voluntary Family Planning is a Human Right. It is central to gender equality and women's empowerment and it is a key factor in poverty reduction.